


memories (Record Player Song)

by 71TeenIdles



Category: Daredevil (TV), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Defenders (Marvel TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Hurt Peter Parker, Maria Castle is the Punisher, Maria Castles iffy parenting, Maria and Karen are dating i'll die with this ship goddamn it, Matt Murdock is a Good Bro, Multi, Past Character Death, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Without Powers, Peter Parker has ADHD, Peter Parker has PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Powerless Peter Parker, continuation depends on reader reaction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/71TeenIdles/pseuds/71TeenIdles
Summary: the day was sunny, the sky radiating from the warm lights coming from the carousel, he could do nothing but smile when his little sister laughed, “come on peter time to get down! Give Lisa a turn!” “But I like this on--” everything changed, the lights from the carousel being shot out, flashing there was so much flashing. “Lisa! Frankie? Peter!”there had to be a reason he remembered these things, an explanation for the gaps in time. someone responsible.((peter meets someone who raised him, Maria Castle.))
Relationships: Frank Castle & Billy Russo, Frank Castle & Peter Parker, Frank Castle/Maria Castle, Maria Castle & Matt Murdock, Maria Castle/Karen Page, Matt Murdock & Peter Parker
Comments: 9
Kudos: 51





	1. Dumpster diving is a fun thing to do when NY has vigilantes haha

**Author's Note:**

> due to unfortunate circumstance, I am once again writing a fanfic. 
> 
> this time you get Peter parker, Punisher 2.0.

"In other news, Maria 'The Punisher' Castle has struck again, agitating west side gangs and drug traffickers. The question still remains, should we thank her?" 

Peter focused on the TV, something about the news that day drug up something. 

"Peter? Oh, Peter, I don't want you looking at that crap!" May rushed over clicking off the TV. 

Peter shook himself out of his haze and stood up off the rug. "Sorry may, she just looks familiar is all." He shrugged. 

May looked sympathetic, shaking her head. "I know Peter, I know. Why don't you go to school now?" She tried, laying a hand on his shoulder. 

Peter shook his hand off of him, walking over to the door and picking up his backpack, rubbing his eyes. These contacts were so uncomfortable. "Yeah, I should go. Bye May, love you." 

May smiled from the living room, waving him off. 

* * *

  
  


When did teens get so involved in politics and vigilantes? 

Everywhere in school, he went the talk seemed the same. ‘Did you hear about the punisher?’ ‘Do you think she could kill the president?’ ‘She kills people! At least daredevil only maims them.’ blah blah blah. Every time someone brought it up his blood boiled. 

_-the day was sunny, the sky radiating from the warm lights coming from the carousel, he could do nothing but smile when his little sister laughed, “come on peter time to get down! Give Lisa a turn!” “But I like this on--” everything changed, the lights from the carousel being shot out, flashing there was so much flashing. “Lisa! Frankie? Peter!”_

“Peter! Did you hear what I was saying?” Peter shook his head, shaking off the cryptic memories that flooded his brain. 

“Yeah, of course, ned.” 

Peter didn’t hear anything Ned was saying. 

“Did you hear about the Punisher?” 

Ned asked. 

Peter sighed, putting his head in his hands. “Ned, I really don’t wanna fucking talk about that okay?” 

Ned flinched back. “What’s wrong with you?” he gently asked. 

Everything simmered. Peter kept his head in his hands, ‘if you lash out he’ll never forgive you.’ his mind swore at him, clouding all reason as he stood up and walked out of the cafeteria. 

He didn’t know where he was going, he turned hallways while fishing out his earbuds. 

_Everything went dark, he could hear anything and his vision faded in and out. ‘M-mom?’ ‘guys?’ dread sat itself in his stomach. Unconsciousness resting in his brain as everything went dark.--_

‘Sometimes I think all I’m ever doing is trying to convince myself I’m alive.’ 

Music hummed in his ears, Peter sat on the toilet, hoping no one would walk in. He tapped his foot on the tile and flipped his patch-work phone in his hands. A piece was breaking off. Today he was supposed to try and find something in the dumpsters. 

The bell rang and Peter got up, trudging himself to get his backpack from the cafeteria avoiding Ned's look. Ned wasn't in his English class thank god, but MJ was. 

"What's up with you?" She asked, her desk close to his. 

Peter figured MJ didn't really care, but he told her anyway. "It's all this talk of Castle, it's-" he sighs "it doesn't sit right with me." 

MJ nodded, flipping her pen, "yeah it's the guns huh? Don't sit with me either." 

_\--this time it was bright, people rushing around him, did he get hurt? Did that matter? If there was one thing he could remember vividly, it was mom, cold and bleeding on the concrete--_

"Please don't bring those up." He choked out, rubbing his temples.

MJ just nodded and got back to doodling on her paper. Peter got back to struggling over his. 

-

It was cold, like really cold. Peter fixed his sneakers. He'd dressed up in a dark hoodie that covered his frame, he'd had the hoodie since he went to live with aunt may. There were little yellow paint splotches on it and a peeling guitar sticker. 

He carried a flashlight and pepper spray with him, holding them both. It wasn't the first time he'd threatened pepper-spraying people. 

He was near the dumpster that he saw someone dump something in. He was 80 percent sure, he was wearing his glasses. 

Peter squatted near the bags when he heard it.

"What the hell was that!" A voice hissed out. 

"Oh calm your nuts Red, a bullet to the brain never hurt nobody." Another more feminine voice quipped back. 

Peter stilled all motion as the figures drawn closer, he stood up and unhooked the safety on the pepper-spray, shining the flashlight at the two figures. 

' _Shit'_ he thought, one figure was dressed in dark red kevlar, covered in shadows and blood. Daredevil. 

The other was as tall as Daredevil. They wore a dark trench coat smelling heavily of ash and copper. The figures dark brown hair hit their shoulders. Finally, he shone it in its face. 

_\--"Peter, have you seen Frankie?" She called out, letting out a howling laugh as she clutched her stomach looking at a man looking unimpressed next to the small child, hands covered in yellow paint. "Not funny Maria." The man huffed out--_

Maria Castle. The Punisher. 

"Don't move, I'll spray you!" He yelled out, knees weak and fear choking up his throat. 

There was no doubt Peter recognized her, but that was from the news. And of course, he forgot his phone.

A look of recognition crossed the woman's face before she cursed out "get outta here red." And Peter watched as Daredevil rocketed off of the brick off the alley and up somewhere into the night. 

"Kid?" Maria tried. 

Peter just thrust the hand holding the Spray taking a step closer, out of fear and stupidity. 

"Peter?" She whispered, in low hushed notes, holding her hands up in a surrendering position. 

"How do you know me?" He yelled out, arms shaking and tears pricking out the corner of his eyes. 

_\--"Lisa give it back! You got a turn!" The boy whined, "no!" The little girl frowned, staying still when nimble fingers grabbed the toy truck out from her grip. "Mom! They were finders keepers!" The woman let out a small laugh. "Is it finders keepers if it belonged to someone else? No, that's called stealing Lisa, and stealing bad."--_

Peter shook, dropping the spray and flashlight. Heart thudding in his chest, he swore memories flooding his head, he shook harder tears falling violently, _'i thought she was dead'_

"Mo-Maria?" He rasped out, knees failing as he passed out. 

  
  



	2. when he opened his eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Get home safe, okay Kid?” Maria said, patting him on the back when he left.  
> Peter fell asleep with more questions than answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) oh boy, well I finished it! this chapter that is.

"Peter? Peter, fucking fuck." 

Peter drug himself up from the clutches of sleep and feels around him. Concrete. 

"Ugh, what, how long?" 

"Bout 30 minutes kid." She answered, gruff but caring. 

"Shit!" He swore out, it's like gotta be 12 AM! He thought, trying to get up, and flinching when Maria stopped him. 

"Kid." She glared. 

"Mrs.castle, May is going to kill me!" 

He rushed up. Standing with Maria. 

"May?" She hummed. A nostalgic look in her eyes. "May parker?" She asked. 

“You know her?” Peter asked, hopeful.

Maria still looked nostalgic before a harsh film of sadness washed over, “Mary talked about her in the marines.” 

They sat in silence, in the dark alleyway. 

Peter sighed, “I guess I didn’t get what I came here for.” 

Maria had a questioning look on her face, the clanking of metal under her dirty navy green trench coat as she stood up and laid back on the grimy brick. 

She pulled a zip lighter out of her pocket and flicked it on and off, flame laying light onto her face. 

Peter flushed and put his pepper-spray and flashlight into the oversized hoodie while standing up. “I came here to get parts for my tech.” 

Maria’s eyebrows shot up and she huffed out a laugh. “You really are Richards kid, huh.” she sighed quietly. 

Peter looked down, scratching lightly at the yellow paint stains on the hoodie.

A scuff from a few feet down the alley, Maria froze swiftly pulling a handgun from somewhere under her coat and pointing it at the noise. Peter froze, looking at the gun, breathing harshly at the sharp smell of metal. 

“Kid, fucking hell,” Maria swore. 

Peter stood still, completely freezing as everything just opened. Tears streamed down his face as he fell back on cold brick, sliding down and still zoning off. 

Everything was supposed to be happy, that’s how everything starts, The Shoot out, Ben. everything was happy, until it was ruined, bright flashing, loud noises leaving his ears ringing. Everything just blanks. If Peter felt his sides he could feel it, webbing of scar tissue. It always hurts. 

“Peter, hey breathe.” Maria stroked his hair, lifting him off the pavement and into her arms. “Come on Peter just breathe.”

Was that what he was supposed to do? Breathe, breathe through the pain, the sharp ripping of metal entering his body. Shipped back to the Parkers, who weren’t ready, who just died anyway? Just breathe through all of that? If it was that easy, then the pain wouldn’t be there. 

“Shhh, it’s alright, you’re gonna be okay. It's all gonna be okay, it’s gone now.” Maria hummed tunes into his hair, cradling the hiccuping and sobbing boy. Gun long put away. 

“I’m sorry,” Peter spoke, stifling his cries with his hand, wrangling himself from Maria’s grip. 

“You remember it?” Maria asked. 

Peter nodded. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

Maria had given him a knife, sturdy and a combat one, “you gotta protect yourself.” She said, disregarding peters’ pepper-spray. She pointed out the carvings on the handle ‘FC+MC’ it said, encased in a cheesy heart. Peter laughed. 

“If I ever see you again, I’ll give you a sheath for it,” she promised. 

Peter nodded and put the knife in the hoodie pocket, it wasn’t very big but it was definitely sharp, piercing the fabric. 

“Get home safe, okay Kid?” Maria said, patting him on the back when he left.

He hid the knife under his pillow, not the smartest idea, but he didn’t have another place to put it. Which brought up another question when he tried to sleep. “Did may know?” about the Castles, about the Incident. It just didn’t make sense. 

Peter fell asleep with more questions than answers. 

* * *

Peter returned to school a little happier, he’d taken a pair of old boots before shoving the combat knife into them, making a makeshift sleeve for it out of duct-tape. He felt a little more confident, shoved his glasses up his nose and answered more questions in class. 

Everything was going well. Days past, and so did weeks. He felt more confident. Like he had someone protecting him when in reality it was just the knife, the knife that would do nothing if he didn’t use it.

The knife that he had to use  _ now. _

__ He was cornered, caught right in the middle of what had to be a drug deal. And they had knives too. And Peter was SOL. he pulled the knife out of his boots, testing the weight and utterly terrified. The first guy swung, no knife, he ducked. And blindly stabbed, missing. 

He ducked a few more before one landed a hit and broke Peter's nose. 

He groaned. Staggering back when a well-placed stab landed just above one thug’s collar bone. He gasps blood drenching his hand and knife in a show of crimson. 

he fell backward, the last two thugs coming closer, raising knives to the sky. 

Peter hyperventilated, choking on the smell of copper. Closing his eyes, ready. 

It never came, when he opened his eyes the thugs were on the ground. 

Oh god, he got up, falling against the brick. ‘Oh god!’ 

“Only ones dead.” 

Peter gasps, looking up to meet the painted eyes of a white skull. 

“Maria.” 

“Good hit kid,” she said, hands in her coat’s pocket. 

“Oh god,” he said, shaky hands clutching the knife blood dripping off his hands with rhythm. He walked over, staggering to the body. 

“Oh, God. I killed him…” 

Peter settles his breathing. 

“You okay?” 

Was he okay? This man was bad right? If he was dealing, then he was part of the problem right? And if this man was bad then surely it justified Peter killing him. And if that’s justified then he shouldn’t feel bad.

“How do we get rid of the body?” he shudders. 

Maria furrows her eyebrows, removing something from the inside of her jacket. Then handing it to peter. “Strap that to your leg, hide the knife.” 

Peter just nodded and strapped it, putting his oversized sweater over it. 

“You’re not too bloody, so that won’t be a problem- Shit.” 

“What is it?”

“Your sleeve, it's drenched.” Maria pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s okay, here’s how we’re gonna do this.” 

Peter nodded along. 

“We're gonna find a good place to burn the body.” 

Peter watched like three episodes of Dexter. “We’re not gonna bury it?” 

Maria shook her head. “too much of a hassle, I don’t have the right chemicals.”

Peter folded his hands together, then snapped. “Uh, hydrochloric acid!” 

Maria raised her eyebrows. “What?”

“It’s a strong chemical compound, it dissolves skin like that,” he says, snapping for effect. “The only problem is it creates a recognizable smell, same with any other solvent.” 

“But if it eats through skin in a matter of seconds, then it should dissolve a body in a few days. Only problem is I have no idea how to get it.” 

He chuckled. 

“So uh, I guess fires our best bet.” 

Maria looked impressed. Crossing her arms. “Alright kid, let’s find a place and douse him.” 

What was he doing? This had to be wrong? But he was a bad person, but do that matter if it was illegal, if he gets caught he’s shit out of luck. Would Maria take the blame? No that’s, not the punishers style… he never meant to do it. Would it hold up as self-defense? Was that even reasonable, there’s no other proof they attacked him beside the broken nose, that could look like Peter was the attacker. Not the victim. Can he even be classified as the victim? He killed a man! 

“So,” Peter started as Maria chucked the man’s body on a small abandoned warehouse floor. 

“This is one heck of a family bonding activity.” 

He said, snapping his fingers into finger guns. And chuckling. 

Maria huffed out a laugh before cackling. 

“This is not how I imagined bonding with you.” she wheezed. 

“Me neither.” Peter laughed. 

“Okay kid, there’s gas over there, can you go get it?” Maria asked. Flicking her zippo lighter on and off. 

Peter gave a meek smile and a two-fingered salute, tramping over to pick it up. It was heavy and decently smelled like gas. 

“Okay kid, you wanna do it?” 

This man was bad, and it’s best if he deals with it. If he’s gone then…

“Yeah, I got it,” Peter said. 

He tried not to breathe in as he glugged gas on the body. 

What was he doing? This was horrible. 

Maria put a hand on his shoulder, dropping the empty gas can onto the man before lighting it on fire. 

It roared and covered the warehouse in heat and light. It was comforting and disturbing all on its own. And if Peter pretended, he could see the Castles and May and Ben sitting around a bonfire, He could see Maria talking to mary. He could see himself asking questions about Richards’s work. 

When he opened his eyes.

_He could see a burning body._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you like it? let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> did you like it? let me know! 
> 
> please all of my confidence is dependent on how people view my work haha.


End file.
